-You are only allowed to climb the Goat Tower in Paarl, South Africa (pictured).
-You are required to pay for transportation to Paarl and your hotel room.
-You may only climb it once.
-If you want to climb down, you need to pay again.
-If you fall off the tower (because it is sloped on the sides), you will be charged the full fee for climbing up, and back down. Staggering Beauty will not pay for your medical expenses.
-Once you have successfully climbed the tower, your immortal soul is forever in the possession of Staggering Beauty to do as he pleases, including such things as doing the Harlem Shale forever and ever until the end of time, and taking all of your earthly possessions.
-This gives you permission from Staggering Beauty to climb the tower. This does NOT give you permission from Fairview Wine and Cheese, the people who actually own the tower.
-Staggering Beauty will NOT ask the people at Fairview Wine and Cheese to let you climb the tower.
-Basically, you are selling you soul to Staggering Beauty, under the pretext of climbing the goat tower.
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Staggering Beauty Woodville, Mississippi
Disappropriate mangled ties of villainous folly into swirls of candied flavor beyond the infinitesimal limits of space-time. Continue into the past through the Gate of Sublimity as you listen to the music of Staggering Beauty, so you may reach your apex through the inversion of your soul. ... more
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